Hers to Forget Read online

  2

  Sophia

  I can feel the heat from his body as he stands behind me, looking at the picture. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. He smells of forest and innocence.

  I open my eyes, focusing back on the picture. When Teddy looks at it, he sees a girl who seemed to prefer the company of a kid rather than her own peers. What I see in it is a beautiful boy with long, dark hair, pale blue eyes and full lips begging to be kissed.

  That was the summer I began to see Teddy as less of a boy and more of a man. At seventeen, he was just starting to grow into the man I see in front of me now.

  I know that his brother, Grayson, and my sister, Izzy, would be appalled if they knew my feelings, but I can’t seem to forget him no matter how hard I try. When he touches me, it’s almost painful in the intensity that fires through my veins.

  Just because our siblings fell in love first, doesn’t mean he doesn’t stir those feelings in me for him. Teddy abruptly turns away from me, heading toward the kitchen.

  “I can put on some tea if you’re interested. I’ve gotten pretty good at making it in the last four years.”

  I’ll grab at anything to spend even a few more minutes with him.

  “So you can now make tea and cuss in a foreign country’s dialect? What other skills have you picked up in the last four years?” I watch the muscles tense in his back as he bends over the cooktop, trying to get it to light.

  His back is to me so I can watch him unobserved. He rolls up his sleeves then takes a step to the small sink to fill the kettle. His arms ripple as he turns off the water. I dream at night of those arms wrapped around me as I sleep. He turns, raking his eyes over me.

  “Obviously not manners. I’m sorry, please have a seat.”

  I take a seat on the couch as he walks back over, joining me. He sits just close enough. I can reach out and touch his hair.

  “When did you cut off your hair? It used to hang down over your eyes half the time.”

  He reaches up, taking my hand, rubbing his hand absentmindedly over my palm.

  “You have always had such soft hands.” His fingers caress each part of my hand, lingering as he draws circles on the inside of my wrist.

  The kettle starts to whistle in the kitchen. I pull my hand away as Teddy gets up to get our tea. He’s made us chamomile, my favorite.

  “You have become quite the gentleman living in England. This is delicious,” I say taking a sip.

  He does a mock bow, making me laugh. “At your service, madam.”

  We sit in silence, drinking our tea. Teddy watches me warily over the rim of his cup. I’m so close to becoming lost in those stormy blue eyes.

  “I should probably go,” I say, standing suddenly. Setting my empty teacup on the table, I snatch my coat up from the couch. Teddy jumps to his feet, with a frown.

  “Where?” He searches around for a moment until he finally eyes the kitchen table, setting his cup down.

  “I have to work tomorrow. I need to head back to the hotel. Prepare my notes for the interview.” I take several steps toward the door, pulling on my coat.

  “Wait,” Teddy says.

  “Why? What do I need to wait for?” I’m sure to him I sound crazy, but I can’t sit here any longer, so close to him.

  Just him holding my hand for those few moments made my skin burn. It makes me want him to crawl on top of me, sliding inside until I can’t remember my own name. I want him to make me moan his name in ecstasy.

  I have to leave before I can’t stop myself from begging for his touch. My heart can’t take the chance he will reject me. For him to turn me away will flay me wide open. Teddy’s eyes dart around the room like he is searching for something. They finally land back on my face.

  “You can stay here. You’re welcome to.”

  “There is barely room in this apartment for one person. Where do you suggest I sleep?” I ask, pointing around the apartment.

  I hear him growl something under his breath, but I miss what he said.

  “I didn’t catch that Teddy. What did you say?”

  He takes two steps toward me, his eyes narrowing. I back up until my back knocks into the wall. He stops inches from my body. Reaching out, he pulls my chin up until I look into his eyes. He stops to study me like he’s waiting for something. Does he expect me to push him away? I should, but all I can think about is how good his hands would feel on my body.

  “I said,” he says. “You can sleep under me.” His hand slowly caresses my face, down my jaw to my neck. He bends down, barely brushing over my lips with his mouth. “I’ve dreamed of you since I was fourteen,” he whispers against my mouth as his hand slowly travels down my arm.

  Goose flesh rises on my skin at his touch.

  “You haunt my every waking moment,” he adds. His hand moves to my waist as it tentatively makes its journey down my body. “I can’t sleep.” It travels to my stomach making small circles. “I can’t eat.” I gasp as his hand curves back up around my breast. “I can’t breathe without you.” His mouth seals around mine, his tongue opening my lips as he explores.

  Every objection that has been hammering in my head suddenly flows away like they were never there. This is the man I love, and I can’t get close enough to him. He slides my coat off my shoulders onto the floor with no objection. Each button of my blouse slowly pops opens as he works his way up my body. When my blouse falls to the floor, Teddy steps back.

  “You’re even more beautiful than in my dreams.”

  I’m dressed in a pale blue bra that has unlined lace revealing each hard nipple. I put it on unconsciously, my mind tricking me into dressing for Teddy. He reaches out, unzipping my skirt, moaning as it falls to the floor.

  Stepping back to me, he traces kisses down my neck until he reaches my breast. With a lick to the skin spilling out above my bra, he slips his tongue just below the top line. With an impatient growl, he pulls my bra down below my breast, sucking a hard nipple into his mouth.

  “Teddy,” I gasp out, arching my back as my hand snakes down between us, searching for his erection.

  I hear him moan, releasing my breast when I find his throbbing shaft. With a slow squeeze, I run my hand up, finding he has become every bit a man since I left. Wrapping his hands to cup my ass, he pulls my legs up around his waist. Holding me close, he carries me to his bed.

  “Teddy. We shouldn’t do this.” My words come out in lusty breaths.

  Laying me down gently, he kneels between my legs.

  “Why, Sophia? Do you not want me?”

  I hear his shoes hit the floor behind him.

  “N-no, Teddy. I’ve wanted you since the summer you were seventeen.”

  His eyes widen when he looks at me. His hands move to his pants, working his belt open. Standing, I watch closely as he slides them down two muscular legs.

  “Then tell me why I can’t have you, Sophia.”

  I gasp when he frees himself from his underwear. He has grown into a beautiful man and I take in every inch of him as he stands naked in front of me. His chest is muscular with a dusting of dark hair trailing down his stomach until it ends at a thick, fully erect cock. He kneels back down between my thighs, placing one hand on the bed next to my face. His other hand reaches to my back, releasing my bra to free my breasts.

  “Tell me why I can’t suck your perfect round, pink nipples into my mouth, teasing them to a hard point.”

  I groan, arching my back when he lowers his mouth to my breast, sucking on each one until they are at an almost painful point.

  “Tell me why I can’t slide between your legs licking your slick folds until you come on my face screaming my name.”

  He works down my body, licking and kissing, until he is kneeling on the floor at the end of the small bed.

  “Teddy,” I moan when he pulls my legs onto his shoulders.

  His tongue takes a slow, tentative trip through my folds. Teddy growls when he finds my clit, circling around it before finding his way back to my e
ntrance. His tongue enters me, sliding in and out, until I’m almost out of my mind.

  “Teddy,” I gasp when his tongue rolls slowly back over my clit.

  He slides two fingers into me as he continues to assault me with his talented tongue. I thrust my hips up, taking his fingers deeper. I can feel my climax building to a brutal peak as he continues to worship my body.

  “Teddy, I’m close. Teddy,” I scream as I clench around his fingers. Light fires white behind my eyes as he pushes me until every ounce of pleasure has been pulled from my body. As my senses return, I see him watching me from the end of the bed. His eyes are a deep blue, hooded in lust.

  “I wish I had known,” he whispers. Crawling up beside me, he pulls me to him. “You’re so beautiful. I always knew that, but just now? My God. I’m sorry, I know I sound ridiculous.”

  I cup his face in my hands, staring into the eyes of a man who looks at me like I’m his queen.

  “You make me feel beautiful.”

  He kisses my mouth gently at first, then becomes more desperate as I run my hands through his hair. I pull him on me, needing to feel him inside me. I need him to consume me, my thoughts, my body, my everything. He rolls between my thighs as our kisses deepen.

  “Guide me in,” he whispers into my mouth.

  Reaching down between us, I find his erection. He jerks when I wrap my hand around him, slowly lining him up to my entrance. In one hard motion, he thrust deeply into me, making me cry out. He doesn’t stop though, pulling back out to then thrusting deeper into me.

  “You feel so good,” he growls.

  He starts an easy rhythm of pulling almost out then thrusting in until our hips slam together. My eyes close as I rock up to him, meeting his thrust.

  “Fuck me harder, Teddy. Please, I need it harder.”

  He pulls out, flipping me onto my stomach before I can register what’s happening. Jerking my hips toward him until I’m on my knees, he slams back into me.

  The new angle has him hitting a spot inside me that spirals me faster and faster to climax, building even harder than the first one. When it hits, I feel him grip my shoulder as he rides me through the orgasm as it rips through my body.

  Somewhere behind me, a roar penetrates the ringing in my ears. Teddy thrust into me one more time as he empties, finally collapsing onto his forearms over me as I crash back onto the bed.

  Rolling off of me, he wraps me in his arms as if desperately holding on. We both lay on the bed, panting in each other’s arms.

  Easing out of his hold, I head into the bathroom. I stare into the mirror at myself as I begin to come to my senses. What have I done? This can’t last, it won’t last. Teddy will return home to settle down and I will move from one story to the next around the world. He doesn’t deserve someone who can’t stay with him longer than a day or two at a time. He’s going to get hurt, and I have no one else to blame but myself.

  Turning on the shower, I step in, letting the water cascade down my body. I need to leave before I do any more damage. The thought rips through me like a razor as I slide to the floor of the shower, a sob escaping my lips as my heart starts to break. I feel a shift in the air as he slides down next to me, pulling me onto his lap. Teddy swipes a tear off my cheek.

  “I’m not sure my ego can take this response. I know I’m inexperienced but, damn, I thought I was better than this.”

  It works, I start laughing.

  “I’m sorry. I’m just wrapped up in my own thoughts. Just being a crazy, jet-lagged woman.” I desperately want that to be all there is to it, but I’m old enough to know better.

  “Okay,” he says with a worried glance. “Why don’t we start with getting out of this shower? I’m sure I have some sweats that, with a piece of rope, will fit you. Maybe a shirt that will make you look like the landlady in a muumuu.”

  A giggle escapes through my lips. I’m twenty-seven, I don’t giggle!

  “You know,” he says, sliding a sly smile at me, “I seem to remember some ice cream in the freezer. I’m sure there is a Monty Python movie somewhere on Netflix. I say we curl up on the couch and binge like we used to.”

  I smile up at him, taking in his beautiful face while I can.

  “That sounds great.”

  We used to spend a lot of our nights together as kids curled up under a blanket, watching movies until we both fell asleep.

  Teddy eases us both off the floor, turning off the shower. He dries me off before wrapping a towel around his waist to hunt for something for me to wear. After I’m securely tucked under a blanket on his couch, he throws on a pair of sleep pants and heads for the kitchen.

  “It looks like I have sweet cream, chocolate, or cookie dough. If I remember, you always had a soft spot for cookie dough.”

  He grabs the carton and two spoons. We never bother with bowls. Sitting on the other side of the couch from me, he hands me the carton and starts the movie. We watch in silence as we pass the carton back and forth. I catch Teddy studying me out of the corner of my eye, but when I turn to look, his eyes snap back to the TV.

  “Can I ask you something? What did you mean when you say you’re inexperienced?” I sit, staring at the screen, waiting for Teddy to answer. Finally he looks at me with a sigh.

  “Will you tell me why you were crying in the shower?” His eyes bore into mine until I have to look away.

  “Teddy, please don’t ask me,” I whisper. I won’t tell him that after tonight, I don’t intend to see him again. That we could never be together as more than extended family at family events.

  Reaching over to me, he pulls me across the couch to his side.

  “I guess we both have our secrets then.” He pulls the blanket up over me as I snuggle against him. It doesn’t take long before I drift into a restless sleep.

  My eyes pop open later in a panic as I look around the room. Where am I? I have a strong arm wrapped around me, holding me onto a small bed. My head is resting on strong biceps, the rest of the arm stretched out in front of me. Teddy. My memories come flooding back to me. He must have carried me to the bed after I fell asleep on the couch.

  Sliding carefully out from under his arm, I walk into the bathroom. Finding my clothes neatly folded waiting for me on the counter, I quickly dress. I need to leave a note. I can’t just leave without some sort of explanation. Rummaging through his desk quietly in search of some paper, I freeze when I hear him moan. The snoring continues soon, so I finish my note, leaving it in front of the TV where he’ll find it when he wakes.

  A fast peek out the window reveals the sun slowly rising. I stand by the bed, watching him sleep for a moment. With his features relaxed in rest, I can see a glimpse of that boy I first fell in love with.

  Placing a careful kiss on his temple, my heart breaks as he smiles in his sleep. When he rolls over, I quickly walk to the door. With one last look at the only man I will ever love, I walk out.

  3

  Teddy

  “What the fuck?” I yell out.

  I’m sure my neighbors will be banging on their ceiling shortly, trying to get me to shut up, but I really don’t give a flying rat’s ass. I fall down onto the couch, clutching the note. I’ve never been this pissed or this heartbroken. Running my hand through my hair, I read the note again.

  * * *

  Teddy,

  Last night was amazing, but you deserve better than what I can offer. You need to forget me. Find a nice girl that can give you all of her. I will never forget that wayward boy with the hair that fell over his eyes and a mouth that would make a sailor blush.

  Sophia

  * * *

  She left me a note? If she is going to tell me to fuck off, she can damn sure do it to my face! I storm into the bathroom, quickly sliding on my clothes. Stomping back to the couch, I snatch up the note, shoving it into my pocket. Where did she say she was staying?

  The question has me sliding slowly back down onto the couch. I don’t fucking know where to look for her. I fight the panic off that is
starting to roll through me. It’s fine, I just need a plan.

  Pulling my laptop to me, I type out a quick note to my professors claiming illness. Now, what do I know? I have to work through this logically until I find her. She’s working on the spots for her new report today. Maybe if I can guess where those are, I can find her. The problem is I don’t have any clue where that is.

  I make a few phone calls to the London studio office convincing them that I am the backup videographer looking for the rest of the crew. I flirt shamefully with a receptionist on the phone until I have their full taping schedule.

  This should be easy, if I track down the filming locations I’ll find where Sophia is. I can then simply convince her we can live happily ever after. So in a matter of fifteen minutes, I’ve gone from being pissed to begging her to stay with me forever in my head. Well, no one ever claimed love was simple.

  My first stop is Her Majesty’s Theatre a couple of blocks from my apartment where The Phantom of the Opera runs. There is no sign of a film crew, or anyone else for that matter. The box office is locked up tight, as are the front doors. I heft my backpack onto my shoulders heading to the next location on the list.

  By evening, I still haven’t found anyone that can point me to Sophia. Sitting on the low wall outside of the British Museum, I try to decide what to do next. On an impulse, I pull out my phone and dial.

  “Hello? Teddy?” My brother answers once the international call finally goes through.

  “Hey Gray. Do you have a second?”

  I hear mumbling in the background then a door close.

  “It’s fucking midnight, Ted. Of course I have a second.”

  I cringe. I always forget the time difference.

  “Oh fuck, I’m sorry Gray. I just need to know if Izzy’s heard from Sophia today.” There’s a long pause.

  “What have you done?”

  I sit in silence, not knowing what to tell him. I’m not even sure what happened myself.